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As I travel in time revisiting the past and glimpsing into the future in order to live better in the present there is certain music that bubbles up just like the memories do. There is some melodic poetry that speaks truth about the souls of some people. The people who connect with this music all share some kind of bond because of the lives that we have lived and the ways that our souls were created. It is like you just get it or you don’t, and if you do then you know that you have an instant connection with one another. I suddenly remembered these two songs at about midnight after spending a wonderful evening with some of my siblings and my mom, daughter and niece.

I used to listen to the Indigo Girls with my friends at summer camp of all places. It is funny because it was church camp, and the Indigo Girls are lesbians! Ha! That was not what it was about for us though. Camp was some of the best times in my life as a child. I went every summer all the way through high school and even met one of the great loves of my life there.

Camp was a safe place for me. I remember feeling safe even at night in the dorm on my bunk bed as I shared a room with about 14 other girls. There were no locks on the doors. We just had screened doors actually, but when the horror movie thoughts would run through my mind I would just think, “No! I am safe here. This is Honey Creek, and God is here. Nothing bad can happen here.”

We were surrounded by the beauty of nature.

Honey Creek….. big trees with spanish moss hanging from them….. porch swings, hammocks, and decks in various natural hideaways dispersed around the grounds….. a little chapel with one wall totally made of glass that faced the water……sounds of laughter, singing, and music…..a piece of heaven….My dream was to get married there. If God could be felt anywhere it was there, and one of my friends came with my mom to pick me up one year and said, ” I see why you love this place. I could feel it as soon as we drove in.”

We sang a lot to acoustic guitars. We went to chapel every morning and right before bed, and we were incredibly free at high school camp. We were even allowed to smoke cigarettes there because back then the law allowed smoking for 17 year olds! I know that’s kind of crazy! The place was a beautiful oxymoron…freedom at church camp….imagine that! But feeling safe, free, and surrounded by loving peers was truly like a vacation from life for me. It was a refuge like no other. I always grieved heavily when it was over. It never lasted long enough.

Well we used to listen to a lot of music there, and as I said the Indigo Girls were a favorite. I guess it is because of the raw acoustic beauty of the truth that they sing about. There were two songs that especially stood out to me and resonated with me in my teen years. I suddenly remembered those songs tonight around midnight after not hearing them or thinking of them for years. As I listen to them again they still resonate with me and actually bring tears to my eyes. Yes….there is a little bit of hippy in the music, but I would be lying if I said that there was not a little bit of hippy in me. Tee hee….There is something about my life in the words of these songs. There is something about me in them.

So I will share them with you for another musical interlude of melodic poetry. I believe that the music speaks for itself. It carries me back in time to my childhood, and it speaks to me again in the present. So here are the two songs….a brief look into my soul.

Prince of DarknessĀ  ~ Don’t let the title scare you šŸ˜‰

Kid Fears ~

Some music is timeless because it comes from a place in the soul that everyone can connect with if they allow themselves to go there. This song still evokes the same feeling and touches the same place in me now that it did back when I was a teenager sitting in my second story opened window sill at night looking out at the stars in the country night sky pondering, dreaming, and allowing my soul to soar where the music would carry it. I have always used music as a way to communicate with myself, God and others. I have always used it as a source of travel for my soul to places deep within myself and places outside of three dimensional reality. Sometimes there is no better way to communicate than melodic poetry, and the video imagery makes it even fuller especially when it includes dancing. So relax and enjoy the journey wherever the music takes you.

I have always had a very rich, interesting and actually supernatural dream life. I have had many dreams that were premonitions. For a quick and simple example, before I got pregnant I had a dream that I was having a baby in September then in reality I unexpectedly did get pregnant that year and had her in September even though she was due in October. I have dreams that are extremely intuitive that tell me when loved ones are in some sort of trouble, and I have dreams that sometimes seem to take me to another realm or dimension of reality. I also have the normal very random dreams that don’t seem significant, but the ones that are significant really stand out in some way.

Occasionally I have a very good dream that seems more real than life. It seems as if I have gone to another dimension, and it has a great effect on me. I never forget these specific dreams, and I always wish that I would have more of them. There is one that stands out in my mind.

Years ago when I was sleeping I dreamed that I was on the beach at night with several other young women. These women were my best friends in the dream but not in waking life. We had a very strong attachment, and we were swimming and splashing in the ocean and walking together on the beach. We were laughing and talking, and we were saying that we wished that it was Friday night instead of Saturday night because we didn’t want to leave the beach or each other. We wanted it to last longer.

It was dark outside except for the natural light of the moon, stars, and phosphorescence, but in the distance there was one extremely bright light shining. I saw this light as the light coming from our beach house and guiding us home.

We slowly began walking down the beach towards the light of our house. I walked alone in front of the other girls, and they began to sing. The song that they were singing was a repetitive chant. They were saying words that I have never heard before, but it was the same sounds over and over. The chant was hauntingly beautiful, and they were harmonizing perfectly. It had a tune that I have not been able to reproduce in my waking life, but I can still hear it in my mind but only faintly.

As they sang their song began to stir something within me. It was moving me deeply and starting to make me cry, but I would not surrender to it. I held back my tears with all of my strength. I did not look back at them but just continued walking steadily towards the light.

As they continued to sing I realized that the song that they were singing was harmonizing with everything around us. The ocean, the breeze, the moon, the sky, the stars, the sand, my soul, their souls, and their voices were all in complete harmony. And this song was filling everything. It was filling all of the space around us and within us, and it was as if everything in nature was singing this beautiful and ethereal song together. It seemed as if the actual breeze was blowing this chant along with the voices of my beloved friends. In my mind I thought, “I know this song! This is the song of the beach at night.”

There are no real words to describe how something so bizarre and other worldly could seem so familiar to me. There are no words to describe how this simple chant could be so beautiful and so complex that I honestly cannot sing it in real life…..I tried.

We continued to walk, and I continued to hold out from allowing myself to surrender to this song, but it was moving my soul. The complete harmony of this song seemed to be harmonizing with the actual cells in my body. Everything in me wanted to let go, but for some reason I would not. I would not even turn around and look at the girls because I knew that I would be forced to let go if I turned back. I just kept walking forward to the light of the house.

When we reached the beach house the light was so bright that I could not even see the house at all, but I knew we were there. I could see the step up to the door. I stepped up onto the entrance in front of the opened doorway which had light pouring out of it………and I finally turned around to face the singing girls who were still on the beach.

They were hugging each other and crying. When I saw this I just wanted to be with them. I wanted to surrender.

I tried to step back down from the doorway to walk over to them with my arms wide open, but before I could make it down the step two big hands came from inside the bright light of the house and grabbed me. The hands were so strong that there was no way for me to get back to the singing girls. I could not see who the hands were coming from. All I could see was light, but the hands pulled me in and hugged me so tightly so that I could not get back to the beach or my friends. The hands and the light that they were coming from were loving me, but they were making it clear that there was no turning back for me, and that I could not stay in this place with these girls that I loved. I was not allowed to totally surrender to this experience.

The whole thing had been so soul-stirring and moving that I was finally crying in the arms of whoever was in the bright light hugging me.

Then I heard my husband’s voice saying, “What’s wrong?”

In reality he was in the bed beside me and heard me crying in my sleep. Hearing his voice brought me back a little, but I was still in the twilight between asleep and awake, and I was crying. I said through the tears, “I just heard the most beautiful song that I have ever heard in my life.” But I immediately realized that I could not reproduce this song for him. I tried, but I could not. It was from some other dimension. I have never heard anything like it again.

I hesitate to write about things like this because I have a feeling that many people will not really get it. It is actually frustrating to try to write about it or tell someone about it because there really are no words to do this justice. Yes….dreams are weird, but this one was weird in a way that stands out from other dreams.

I do not know why I had this dream, but it was more than a dream. It was an experience that is beyond words. It was one of the fullest, richest and most real experiences that I have ever had. It had a major effect on me and in shaping who I am. I wish that I could go there and experience the music of the ethers and the love of those who sing it again, but I cannot do it at will.

I do not know why my dream life can be so intense in various ways, but it has honestly been that way for as long as I can remember. Many times my dreams are boring and normal or non-existent too.

But I always remember the amazing glimpses that I get into a larger, fuller, more complexly beautiful dimension of reality, and I pray for more and more.

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